So, we're back into The House at Pooh Corner... Also, I just finished reading AnnE (thank you Liz) of Green Gables to the girls, so forgive me if I have a little melodrama:
As we've recovered from jetlag, introduced Drew into our family, and kept going with life, I've kept my head down and focused on what needs to get done. There is a lot to get done. Many balls are getting dropped.
Come to find out, 4 kids is a LOT of kids, especially when we are all home, all the time, homeschooling and cocooning and the like. Or we are at swim team and I am having a complete breakdown with all 4 in different directions at the lake and pool.
As Drew has bonded so well with us, he is needing us more and more, a good thing. He is healing, and that comes with much fussing in the middle of the night or when I leave the room. He wants/needs to be on me most of the time and is not a fan of napping longer than about 15 minutes. I love to have him on me and he starts clapping when I pull out the Ergo, did I mention he is 23 lbs?!!
I am struggling with my own inadequacies. Lucy and Preston are having a really hard time right now. LOTS of temper tantrums, sobbing in the middle of the night b/c "my tummy hurts", needing my full attention, and just blatant defiance and disobedience. They need me too, and lots of me.
Come to find out, there is only 1 of me.
Also, Andy is slammed at work right now, catching up from being gone and lots of other work related issues. That means LONG hours and travel. Neither of us has much for the other right now and we are empty, dry. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically exhausted. I really want to be GREAT mom, but too often try and do it out of my own capacity and fail miserably, spinning my little wheels all the while. I am not spending time in prayer and study and have realized, once again, how Christ is my absolute lifeline. Nothing else can fill me. Only he can equip me for this.
And, "this" in the grand scheme of things is pretty amazing!!
I am abundantly blessed, just a little over my head with my blessings, and their needs!